240 days….yeah, I know it seems my posts all have numbers in them, but this one is for a reason…it represents something quite important to me.
240 days also translates into 8 months and although it doesn’t seem like a very long time, a lot can happen in 8 months…or umm 240 days. In my last post I talked about the 120 day waiting period in which I had to endure until my divorce was official with the state of Massachusetts — it’s kind of weird because you are “divorced” at the time of your hearing, but in this great state it likes to keep it interesting by making you wait 120 days until you can “re-marry”…..yeah, you read that correct — RE MARRY! When I was first going through all the emotions of getting a divorce back in late 2008, I thought about how I used to throw out these lines when people would ask me if I’d ever consider getting married again….”NEVER!! Not in a million years”…..”not even if you paid me”…..”I’d rather chop off my right arm….” — all funny statements about my feelings at the time toward marriage or the prospect of a “re-marriage”
But something has happened in the past 240 days to make me re-think those statements….well I guess you could say it started about 2,190 days ago….okay, so if your math isn’t great (mine never really is!) that translates to 6 years. It began 6 years ago when I first met him.
I was starring as Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire (to date it has been one of my most favorite roles) and he was in the show as well. I remember the first time I saw him — it was at the auditions….he was seated in the back of the theatre — sort of away from everyone with this very serious look on his face and I thought to myself — how come I haven’t had the chance to read any sides with him yet? He looked like a good actor and I hadn’t even seen him read yet….but there was an air about him…..something that drew me to him and I didn’t know why…
Fast forward about a week later when the artistic director had assembled the cast and there he was at the first read through….sitting back in his chair at the table, I was again drawn to him. I knew nothing about him with the exception of his name since it was posted on the cast sheet, but that was it. He was quiet. The “not sure he liked people” kind of quiet…but I knew he would become a friend by the end of this show, I knew he and I…..would be good friends.
That we became — for years after the show closed — we were by all accounts….friends. Then there was the birth of Facebook — well, that changed everything now didn’t it. We shared updates, pictures, even exchanged a few e-mails here and there, but for years we were friends. I was the “married” friend…he was the “in a relationship” friend.
Then in January of this year, while at an audition I was finally able to read opposite him for a part in a Neil Labute show — I joked with him and said it only took 6 years to finally get back up on stage together…little did I know at that very moment the 6 years would represent so much more than just acting opposite each other again…it would represent finally finding your someone.
We closed the show on March 28th 2009 and that evening would represent one of the moments in your life people always talk about, but you never really know what they mean until it happens to you.
……You know they say when you and your soul mate catch eyes or finally come together you can hear…what is it — Puccini in your head? Yeah, that’s it — you can hear Puccini’s La Boheme – but on the contrary….I heard nothing. Literally the world around me stopped and I heard not one single sound. All I saw was his eyes and all I felt was my heart swell. It was the moment that everyone refers to — “the moment you find the love of your life” — It smacked me hard right across the face — there he was……there he always was…..for 6 years….
……and here we finally are 240 days later from that Puccini-less moment…..I still hear nothing when he is around me, I still see only him and my heart still swells with happiness….all good things.
Bottom line — I guess I was always meant to be on the path I was on…you know traveling around making all kinds of interesting turns, bad mistakes, impulsive decisions…..but there is a plan I guess…..I now believe that destiny is indeed in the cards, it does have a say in your life….I truly believe that now. I believe that every moment is meant to happen — good or bad…..I believe that even though we are in the driver seat on this crazy road of life, there is a greater and more powerful force that pulls us…..it may take a while to get us where we need to be…..it might even take say 2, 190 days…..but where I’m sitting now, I love where I am…..I am looking ahead and thinking to myself bring it! Bring me another 240 days just like this — because for me, it’s been perfection.
I said I would dedicate this to you…..and consider it dedicated…..I love you with all my heart — Peas is and will always be happiest with carrots.
Peace and Love…..
