120 Days…..

Today my 120 day grace or waiting period came to an end….

My divorce is officially final.  Wow….my divorce ….is officially…. final….  It’s just those words are still weird for me to hear and believe me, I hear them often enough.

“Oh, you’re divorced now….?”

“Listen, I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.”

“WOW!  Holy shit you are the big D now!!!???!!….” 

“Since you are divorced now, I would love for you to meet this guy I know….”

I never would have imagined this is where my life would have led me at the age of 34, never, not in a million years…It’s interesting, this whole 120 day timing thing because I recently connected with some old high school friends on Facebook the other day and seeing some of those faces just like grabbed me by the ass and dragged me deep into a time warp back to 1991.  HA….1991 I thought I knew it all….I was going to concur the world….me and my friends that is.  We used to sit at this very “sudo popular” — (or we liked to believe it was the popular lunch table for the not so popular) and we’d babble on and on about what we were going to do, who we would marry, where we would live, where we would go on vacations and what we would name our kids…back then it seemed so simple, so concise….so 1991…

So, here I am.  Sitting in my reality.  So I didn’t make all the best decisions in my life up until this point, I certainly did not. 

So, I didn’t really become a successful Broadway actress, but I landed on my feet ok with a career in PR and have met some pretty great people along the way.  S

So I didn’t do a very good job at picking the right mate for life and I married the wrong guy, but I have two gorgeous girls that mean the entire Universe to me. 

So I didn’t wind up living in my 3,000 sq foot colonial in Lexington, but I am living in a decent sized apartment that is defined by me and each day I wake up pretty happy even in 1300 sq feet. 

So mistakes happen, so what.  So we do stupid things, so what.  Life is essentially filled with many days where we fuck up…..we make poor choices, but ultimately we can only truly become the people we are by making mistakes, by learning, by growing from them.  I honestly feel that we do all this so that in the end….when we are lying on our death beds at 85, 90 or 100 years old we can say “yeah, I love myself and I love what I became….I’m good now, so cya”

I have a long way before that happens (I hope!), but until then I will take my 120 days and I will embrace them…..hell I will dance around in my living room wearing nothing but my socks in honor of them, for they taught me a lot……they taught me that life will move and you move with it….even in a 120 day grace period.

Peace and love….